Yesterday was a write-off for me - I slept in, but woke up feeling 'off', and though I just rested (and watched Heroes!) all day, I just felt worse and worse until I was fully sick and making trips to the bathroom by 6 pm. Very frustrating, as I was hoping to enjoy a day off with my BF, but alas I was on the couch all day, feeling terrible (I did get to spend the day with Cole watching Heroes though; he is wonderful to me, when I am well or sick!). It was a funny day, because I wasn't dizzy per say, but my head just felt very heavy, and my stomach was bloated and off as usual. Do any of you out there with MD get days like that, too? I took my serc and trizide when I woke up in the morning, but they didn't seem to help, obviously. Funny how last week I had a SUPER dizzy spell that didn't last too long, and then this week had one where I wasn't very dizzy, but it lasted for 12+ hour. I'm not sure which is worse!!
I'm looking forward to enjoying the rest of my week - have a few things planned, including a date night with Cole - so fingers crossed for a healthy rest of the week!
Monday, 30 May 2011
Thursday, 26 May 2011
Nagging Thoughts
Well, I got away with almost 2 weeks spell free… but alas not. I woke up in the middle of the night on Sunday, and didn’t even realize anything was wrong at first… I stood up to go to the washroom, and almost fell flat on my face! I haven’t been that spinny in quite a while, so it was a little unnerving. My discomfort increased, and the steadiness of my stomach decreased… I was awake for about 2 hours or so, very, VERY uncomfortable and back and forth to the washroom the whole time – actually considered just bringing my pillow to the washroom, seemed like less work to just stay there (wouldn’t have been the first timeJ ) ! Luckily I have Mondays off, so I slept and slept until about 2 pm on Monday, and felt okay upon awakening. Yay! It was the most ‘violent’ spell I’ve had in quite a while, but at least it didn’t last long.
I am greatly anticipating a trip that I am taking home to Ontario
I know that there are much worse things that many people face that make it challenging to do things and follow dreams that they may have… I am lucky to only have to deal with this, as frustrating as it is. When it come to specifics, like the Ontario trip, I just have to keep reminding myself that no matter what it’s going to be a great little trip, and if I get sick, well I’ll get sick and deal with it when it comes. Ultimately I hope that I’ll be feeling at least a little steadier by then, but who knows. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
What a Day
Well, today work has been crazy, I finally (?) signed up for Twitter, and the sun is shining.
It also marks a week and a day since my last spell... BUT, I am trying not to think about it!
I appreciate the reaction to my blog so much - it is awesome to put something out there, and get a lot of interesting, compassionate and helpful feedback. Thanks to everyone who has commented and/or e-mailed me.
Ironically, I actually was more social than usual this weekend, going on a rafting 'booze cruise' on Friday, a wonderful sushi dinner and then drinks on Saturday, and then a great girls night on Sunday. I figured I would be out with a spell since I messed with my sleeping patterns, but seem to be having a good health week, regardless!! Who knows, maybe it's just my new med regime finally kicking in, or maybe my body DOES like to mix it up once in a while!
My poor boss has been away sick for two weeks with dizziness - I feel terrible for her, as she is having a difficult time of getting back on track. At least she will have increased empathy when I am sick! Speaking of the work place and being sick, I read an article yesterday about a woman who has MS, but has not disclosed this to her colleagues. I found this very interesting. Her reasoning make sense to me, however any work place that would discriminate against me because of my disability is not a place I imagine I would want to work. It can certainly be difficult to put out there the things that affect us, and may cause us to be 'different' than your 'average' employee, but I think that it is important for the betterment of our society that all types of disabilities be recognized - only in this way can we work towards a society that is inclusive of all. Society often tells us that showing any kind of weakness is bad, and that we should hide our flaws, sometimes at any cost; I think that many times it is our flaws that truly make us who we are, because it is often the weaknesses in things like our health that truly make us stronger individuals in the ways that actually count.
You can ind the article on the Globe and Mail's web site: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/facts-and-arguments/the-essay/why-ive-chosen-to-hide-my-ms-from-co-workers/article2023933/
It also marks a week and a day since my last spell... BUT, I am trying not to think about it!
I appreciate the reaction to my blog so much - it is awesome to put something out there, and get a lot of interesting, compassionate and helpful feedback. Thanks to everyone who has commented and/or e-mailed me.
Ironically, I actually was more social than usual this weekend, going on a rafting 'booze cruise' on Friday, a wonderful sushi dinner and then drinks on Saturday, and then a great girls night on Sunday. I figured I would be out with a spell since I messed with my sleeping patterns, but seem to be having a good health week, regardless!! Who knows, maybe it's just my new med regime finally kicking in, or maybe my body DOES like to mix it up once in a while!
My poor boss has been away sick for two weeks with dizziness - I feel terrible for her, as she is having a difficult time of getting back on track. At least she will have increased empathy when I am sick! Speaking of the work place and being sick, I read an article yesterday about a woman who has MS, but has not disclosed this to her colleagues. I found this very interesting. Her reasoning make sense to me, however any work place that would discriminate against me because of my disability is not a place I imagine I would want to work. It can certainly be difficult to put out there the things that affect us, and may cause us to be 'different' than your 'average' employee, but I think that it is important for the betterment of our society that all types of disabilities be recognized - only in this way can we work towards a society that is inclusive of all. Society often tells us that showing any kind of weakness is bad, and that we should hide our flaws, sometimes at any cost; I think that many times it is our flaws that truly make us who we are, because it is often the weaknesses in things like our health that truly make us stronger individuals in the ways that actually count.
You can ind the article on the Globe and Mail's web site: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/facts-and-arguments/the-essay/why-ive-chosen-to-hide-my-ms-from-co-workers/article2023933/
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Once a Week....
I really should start writing about my good days, too! Had a spell again yesterday, which keep me on the schedule I have been living of one a week. I had to miss work this time, as well, which adds to the frustration, especially since I am covering a maternity leave and don’t have sick time benefits right now!
I am feeling frustrated because despite doing everything ‘right’ (meds, sleep, diet), I am still getting sick with almost alarming frequency. With still three months to go before I see my specialist, it’s hard to know what to do. I know that the doctors in my small town won’t be able to offer any suggestions I haven’t already heard, but I am tempted to try anyway. It would be nice just to have a break for a couple of weeks, especially now that the weather is getting nicer! It seems to be that the way the weather affects me, I often end up ‘sick’ on sunny days – that’s just mean!!
I find that my mind races sometimes when I am sick, and I often think of seemingly profound thoughts and ideas while I am laying in bed in discomfort – these ideas seem to either fade away, or are not nearly exciting the next day when I am feeling better. I swear if I could manage to work a key board while I am sick, I’d have a book written by now!! I need some voice to text software I suppose!!
I really would like a break form this – endless nights of spinning and nausea followed by days of exhaustion are not fun. At least time to recover from one spell before I have another would be nice!!
Thursday, 7 April 2011
The H Word
Well, last week I had my first spell in a while, and it was a big, bad, scary one. It was also a frustrating one because it came on very, VERY suddenly, and meant that I had to cancel plans I had that night with a girlfriend. I wasn't spinning as much as I have, but very ‘off’. This one was based more around my stomach than anything - I was in the bathroom every 5-10 minutes for about 7-8 hours straight, only finding relief when I managed to fall asleep briefly.
This is one of those spells that has me contemplating a trip to the emergency room while my head is buried in the toilet. I know that there isn't much that they could do to help me, an IV for fluids, and something to help me sleep would be welcomed. However, the sheer idea of going to a hospital is quite daunting. First, I would have to get out of the house, and get myself to the hospital, which would be reasonably easy since I have a great boyfriend to help take care of me when I am down and out. The 10 minute drive to the hospital would be okay, as riding in a car often soothes my symptoms, at least until it stops. But then things get scary... the thought of walking into a brightly lit emergency room, having to explain my situation to likely several different people, and having to wait to be seen, all while throwing up at the rate that some people breathe, is essentially terrifying to me when I am in the middle of a spell. I am happier to stay in my dark room, propped up on pillows and forcing myself to take a couple of sips of water or Ginger Ale after every time I throw-up. There have been times that I have been very close to going to the hospital, such as the one time I have thrown up blood - and one time when I did go to the hospital, which was the day after a particularly bad spell when I was too weak to do anything and fainted (alone in my apt!!). There are times when I likely should have gone, but as noted, the entire prospect is just far too daunting. I would be interested to know what other folks who have gone to the hospital during a spell have faced….
I am having a better week so far this week, and even got to engage in a conversation with my pharmacist yesterday, who had never actually talked to someone with Menieres, and had many thoughtful questions for me. Always happy to educate!
This is one of those spells that has me contemplating a trip to the emergency room while my head is buried in the toilet. I know that there isn't much that they could do to help me, an IV for fluids, and something to help me sleep would be welcomed. However, the sheer idea of going to a hospital is quite daunting. First, I would have to get out of the house, and get myself to the hospital, which would be reasonably easy since I have a great boyfriend to help take care of me when I am down and out. The 10 minute drive to the hospital would be okay, as riding in a car often soothes my symptoms, at least until it stops. But then things get scary... the thought of walking into a brightly lit emergency room, having to explain my situation to likely several different people, and having to wait to be seen, all while throwing up at the rate that some people breathe, is essentially terrifying to me when I am in the middle of a spell. I am happier to stay in my dark room, propped up on pillows and forcing myself to take a couple of sips of water or Ginger Ale after every time I throw-up. There have been times that I have been very close to going to the hospital, such as the one time I have thrown up blood - and one time when I did go to the hospital, which was the day after a particularly bad spell when I was too weak to do anything and fainted (alone in my apt!!). There are times when I likely should have gone, but as noted, the entire prospect is just far too daunting. I would be interested to know what other folks who have gone to the hospital during a spell have faced….
I am having a better week so far this week, and even got to engage in a conversation with my pharmacist yesterday, who had never actually talked to someone with Menieres, and had many thoughtful questions for me. Always happy to educate!
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Spring
So I guess I haven't been a very good blogger!!
I have been doing well lately - have not had a spell in almost two weeks now (knock on wood!!). I have been doing my best to get a good amount of rest, and to eat well, things which I know help me, even if just psychologically. I have also been doing yoga almost everyday, even if only a few relaxing poses, and have been on a run outside - even though there is still snow on the ground. It feels good to get out and start to feel healthy again - but I do live in a bit of fear of when my next spell will happen. They can be so unpredictable, and can throw off even the healthiest regime.
Stay tuned.
I have been doing well lately - have not had a spell in almost two weeks now (knock on wood!!). I have been doing my best to get a good amount of rest, and to eat well, things which I know help me, even if just psychologically. I have also been doing yoga almost everyday, even if only a few relaxing poses, and have been on a run outside - even though there is still snow on the ground. It feels good to get out and start to feel healthy again - but I do live in a bit of fear of when my next spell will happen. They can be so unpredictable, and can throw off even the healthiest regime.
Stay tuned.
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
Today is a 'Good Day'
One of the most frustrating parts of Meniere’s is the lack of specific definitions, and how it differently affects each sufferer.
When I am in a situation where I need to tell someone about my Meniere’s, I usually just tell them I have an ‘inner ear thing’. Only when I need to be more forthcoming and provide more information, to I actually use the title Meniere’s – why? Because no one has heard of Meniere’s, they don’t know what it is or how it affects me – it’s a lot easier to say ‘I get dizzy spells’, or ‘I have an inner ear thing’.
The main pitfall of this is that people naturally attempt to offer suggestions or stories about their sister’s friend’s uncle’s dog walker who had dizzy spells and managed to solve them by specific stretches/certain pills/eating carrots/something else that either sounds ridiculous to me, or that I’ve already tried. Not that I don’t appreciate people trying to help, but this isn’t your run of the mill dizzy spell.
For those who may not know… Meniere’s is an idiopathic disease, meaning that doctor’s don’t know what causes it (a source of much frustration for those of us diagnosed with it). It affects the ear(s), and many other bodily systems. It causes severe vertigo, ringing in the ears, hearing loss, severe nausea, headaches and more. Some people will have ‘attacks’ that last days or weeks, some just hours. For me, a spell typically lasts 8-12 hours, during which I am dizzy or simply off balance at best, or have extreme vertigo at worst. Along with this, I get very bloated and nauseous (I have had days where I throw up every 20-40 minutes, all day) – the type of nausea does not discriminate, as when I am having a spell I can consume ginger-ale and crackers, or a steak dinner, or simply water, and I’ll be throwing up no matter what.
Everyone spell is different, as sometimes I get VERY dizzy (I have at times had to ask my family or someone with me if the room is ACTUALLY spinning – as I cannot seem to make it stop going in circles), and sometimes the sensation is more of a headache and feeling of being off balance. Sometimes I will throw up countless times, sometimes only once, or not at all. I am very lucky in that I do not get much ringing in my ears, but I notice that I hear more non-noise in my ‘bad ear’ as I get older. I also have a constant loss of hearing in my right (‘bad’) ear. Meniere’s typically affect only one ear, at least at first, but can affect both (this is termed bi-lateral Meniere’s). I get my spells a few times a months, and can be debilitated with them for a few hours, or a couple of days. I have at times gone for 3-4 months without a spell, and at other times had them once a week for several weeks on end.
Some people with this condition live with loud ringing in their ears all day everyday, some have complete hearing loss, some are dizzy more often than not. I consider myself very lucky to not be one of those people, and as I try to remind myself when I am feeling sick and low – it could always be worse.
I have just come off a bad stretch, two weeks in a row when I had to miss 2 days of work due to my spells. Last week I 'got to' work all five days, and this week is going okay so far for me. I did have a cold, which always seems to throw off my head, and caused me to have a spell with extreme dizziness. I have been taking a weekly yoga class, which helps me to relax, which I try to tell myself keeps my spells at bay. Of course there are no guarantees, a spell could sneak up on me at any time – but I take it one day at a time, and today is a good day, so far : )
When I am in a situation where I need to tell someone about my Meniere’s, I usually just tell them I have an ‘inner ear thing’. Only when I need to be more forthcoming and provide more information, to I actually use the title Meniere’s – why? Because no one has heard of Meniere’s, they don’t know what it is or how it affects me – it’s a lot easier to say ‘I get dizzy spells’, or ‘I have an inner ear thing’.
The main pitfall of this is that people naturally attempt to offer suggestions or stories about their sister’s friend’s uncle’s dog walker who had dizzy spells and managed to solve them by specific stretches/certain pills/eating carrots/something else that either sounds ridiculous to me, or that I’ve already tried. Not that I don’t appreciate people trying to help, but this isn’t your run of the mill dizzy spell.
For those who may not know… Meniere’s is an idiopathic disease, meaning that doctor’s don’t know what causes it (a source of much frustration for those of us diagnosed with it). It affects the ear(s), and many other bodily systems. It causes severe vertigo, ringing in the ears, hearing loss, severe nausea, headaches and more. Some people will have ‘attacks’ that last days or weeks, some just hours. For me, a spell typically lasts 8-12 hours, during which I am dizzy or simply off balance at best, or have extreme vertigo at worst. Along with this, I get very bloated and nauseous (I have had days where I throw up every 20-40 minutes, all day) – the type of nausea does not discriminate, as when I am having a spell I can consume ginger-ale and crackers, or a steak dinner, or simply water, and I’ll be throwing up no matter what.
Everyone spell is different, as sometimes I get VERY dizzy (I have at times had to ask my family or someone with me if the room is ACTUALLY spinning – as I cannot seem to make it stop going in circles), and sometimes the sensation is more of a headache and feeling of being off balance. Sometimes I will throw up countless times, sometimes only once, or not at all. I am very lucky in that I do not get much ringing in my ears, but I notice that I hear more non-noise in my ‘bad ear’ as I get older. I also have a constant loss of hearing in my right (‘bad’) ear. Meniere’s typically affect only one ear, at least at first, but can affect both (this is termed bi-lateral Meniere’s). I get my spells a few times a months, and can be debilitated with them for a few hours, or a couple of days. I have at times gone for 3-4 months without a spell, and at other times had them once a week for several weeks on end.
Some people with this condition live with loud ringing in their ears all day everyday, some have complete hearing loss, some are dizzy more often than not. I consider myself very lucky to not be one of those people, and as I try to remind myself when I am feeling sick and low – it could always be worse.
I have just come off a bad stretch, two weeks in a row when I had to miss 2 days of work due to my spells. Last week I 'got to' work all five days, and this week is going okay so far for me. I did have a cold, which always seems to throw off my head, and caused me to have a spell with extreme dizziness. I have been taking a weekly yoga class, which helps me to relax, which I try to tell myself keeps my spells at bay. Of course there are no guarantees, a spell could sneak up on me at any time – but I take it one day at a time, and today is a good day, so far : )
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