Let's Catch Up....

Once again, I am a bad blogger! It has been a while since I updated…. I have been trying NOT to think about it!

I finally got to see my specialist, Dr. John Rutka at the beginning of the month while I was back home for my long awaited trip and  very good friend’s wedding! The trip was great, and for the most part I felt pretty good while I was there. I had to excuse myself form a couple of events early, and was sick in the middle of the might one night, but happily I managed to avoid any major spells… yay! I am always a little bit unsure when it comes to travel, as between the change in both routine and altitude, as well as the fact that I am likely more tired than usual, I know I am more likely to have a spell (I find too that both negative stress and positive stress seem to leave me more susceptible to a spell – my body doesn’t know the difference!). I try to keep care of myself as best as possible while travelling, and I think that helped me.

As for the specialist appointment… I made a small amount of forward progress. I reported my symptoms, including increased hearing loss, tinnitus, and ongoing spells. Dr. Rutka outlined the three options that I have, which I was essentially already aware of (gent. injections, steroid injections or a small device with a handheld component that helps with aural pressure). He could not suggest which might be best, as I need more, and updated, testing. He is to refer me to a dr. much closer to where I now live who can do the testing for me, which I am actually looking forward to. I have yet to hear back from this referral, but am planning to follow-up if I don’t get a call back next week. I know these folks are busy, but it has been nearly a month!!

While I didn’t get any real answers or solutions, it is nice to be on what seems like the right track. I have read some review on the doctor that I have been referred to, and they range for horrible to absolutely glowing. I like to make up my own mind about people, but I certainly found this interesting!

I did forget to ask Dr. Rutka about prescribing me a medication to help me sleep/stay asleep when I am having a spell. Gravol used to work wonders, but I think that I am getting somewhat immune to it, taking it so often. I know that a lot of patients in the US are prescribed Vallium, which scares me a bit! I’m not opposed to it, but wondering about other options too. Let me know if you have any input!!

I had a spell yesterday, and had to miss work, as well as an interview with the local newspaper for a writing position. I was very disappointed to miss this interview, as I had been really looking forward to the opportunity. Unfortunately, I do not have another change to interview right now, but maybe in the next few months. I can’t help but feel like my Meniere’s kept me from this opportunity, which makes me feel very frustrated. At the same time, I suppose everything happens for a reason, and maybe this just wasn’t meant to be. Trying to stay positive, even though I am having a bad day today... I just feel like things have been boiling up lately - feeling frustrated with work, some relationship 'stuff', and of course always battling Meniere's. Today I just felt frustrated, especially when a few things at work made me really frustrated... kind of reached a boiling point. I am feeling a little bit better now, and hoping to go and enjoy some nice warm weather and sunshine soon : )

Right on Schedule

I'm still on my usual schedule of on spell a week, as I had one on Monday - luckily it wasn't too bad though, and I was able to go to work on Tuesday (fairly unusual for the day after a spell!!). I am going to up my dose of serc, and am hoping that helps, as I am out of options now until I get to see my specialist on August! I live 4 hours away from the nearest large city where someone might be able to help whit with Menieres (not on in town knows much about it!), which can be very frustrating. I will be on the others side of the country when I see my specialist in August, which is not very handy for follow-up!! I am hoping that he can refer me to someone out here. I wouldn't trade where I live for anything, but it's not terribly helpful being so far away when I need medical help/advice!

I have been having a good week since Monday, and got to my lunch time yoga session today - I missed a few between being sick, and having meetings at work, so it felt good to get back into it!! It has been raining a lot here in the Rocky Mountains, and some sunshine would be a nice treat... hopefully soon we'll actually get real summer weather soon!!

That's all for today... Happiness and health to all!

Drop Spell

Well, I am sad to report that mere hours after I wrote my last post, I had another spell. I was just preparing to enjoy a great sushi dinner, when I became dizzy very suddenly. Within 10 minutes I was spinning with vertigo and ready-ing for ‘combat’ on my bathroom floor. This is often referred to as a ‘drop spell’, since it happens so suddenly. Some people with Menaires get these quite often – I am lucky enough to only have had a few so far. They are one of the more dangerous things that can happen to those of us with MM, and can be fairly upsetting (especially when one gets in the way of sushi dinner!!). I had to call in sick for work two days in a row, as I was still dizzy the next morning when I woke up, and wasn’t right until a full 48 hours later. That meant almost 4 days straight of feeling sick… not fun!!

I have just started a lunch-hour yoga course, which I will be taking twice weekly for the next six weeks. I am really excited about this, am very much looking forward to getting back into my yoga practice (I’ve been slacking a bit lately), and to see if it has any effect on my MM – I have been sick frequently lately, and maybe the yoga will help. It is certainly beneficial for my body and mind, but it is a little advantageous to think it will truly have an effect on my MM – as it hasn’t in the past, but one can always hope!! Stay tuned, as I often say.

PS I changed the blog title and look a little, hope y’all like it! Still getting the feel for it…

UHG Day

Yesterday was a write-off for me - I slept in, but woke up feeling 'off', and though I just rested (and watched Heroes!) all day, I just felt worse and worse until I was fully sick and making trips to the bathroom by 6 pm. Very frustrating, as I was hoping to enjoy a day off with my BF, but alas I was on the couch all day, feeling terrible (I did get to spend the day with Cole watching Heroes though; he is wonderful to me, when I am well or sick!). It was a funny day, because I wasn't dizzy per say, but my head just felt very heavy, and my stomach was bloated and off as usual. Do any of you out there with MD get days like that, too? I took my serc and trizide when I woke up in the morning, but they didn't seem to help, obviously. Funny how last week I had a SUPER dizzy spell that didn't last too long, and then this week had one where I wasn't very dizzy, but it lasted for 12+ hour. I'm not sure which is worse!!

I'm looking forward to enjoying the rest of my week - have a few things planned, including a date night with Cole - so fingers crossed for a healthy rest of the week!

Nagging Thoughts

Well, I got away with almost 2 weeks spell free… but alas not. I woke up in the middle of the night on Sunday, and didn’t even realize anything was wrong at first… I stood up to go to the washroom, and almost fell flat on my face! I haven’t been that spinny in quite a while, so it was a little unnerving. My discomfort increased, and the steadiness of my stomach decreased… I was awake for about 2 hours or so, very, VERY uncomfortable and back and forth to the washroom the whole time – actually considered just bringing my pillow to the washroom, seemed like less work to just stay there (wouldn’t have been the first timeJ ) ! Luckily I have Mondays off, so I slept and slept until about 2 pm on Monday, and felt okay upon awakening. Yay! It was the most ‘violent’ spell I’ve had in quite a while, but at least it didn’t last long.

I am greatly anticipating a trip that I am taking home to Ontario in August – only 74 days away! I will be home for a good friend’s wedding, and will be bringing my wonderful boyfriend with me to meet the family (and friends!) there for the first time. I have lots of great plans made… but that little voice in the back of my head keep popping up when I get to excited, and brings up those nagging thoughts... ‘Hm, what if you get sick? What if you get sick the day of the wedding? Or if you can’t go for dinner to that favourite restaurant? What if you’re spinning and can’t drive to the airport to pick Cole up?’ I hate these thoughts, because as much as I know to ignore them and not focus on the negative… easier said then done. It COULD happen! It is these same thoughts that come up when I think about how fabulous it would be to take a year off life and go explore the world, or pursue my ultimate dream of travel writing…   

I know that there are much worse things that many people face that make it challenging to do things and follow dreams that they may have… I am lucky to only have to deal with this, as frustrating as it is. When it come to specifics, like the Ontario trip, I just have to keep reminding myself that no matter what it’s going to be a great little trip, and if I get sick, well I’ll get sick and deal with it when it comes. Ultimately I hope that I’ll be feeling at least a little steadier by then, but who knows. Stay tuned!

What a Day

Well, today work has been crazy, I finally (?) signed up for Twitter, and the sun is shining.

It also marks a week and a day since my last spell... BUT, I am trying not to think about it!

I appreciate the reaction to my blog so much - it is awesome to put something out there, and get a lot of interesting, compassionate and helpful feedback. Thanks to everyone who has commented and/or e-mailed me.

Ironically, I actually was more social than usual this weekend, going on a rafting 'booze cruise' on Friday, a wonderful sushi dinner and then drinks on Saturday, and then a great girls night on Sunday. I figured I would be out with a spell since I messed with my sleeping patterns, but seem to be having a good health week, regardless!! Who knows, maybe it's just my new med regime finally kicking in, or maybe my body DOES like to mix it up once in a while!

My poor boss has been away sick for two weeks with dizziness - I feel terrible for her, as she is having a difficult time of getting back on track. At least she will have increased empathy when I am sick! Speaking of the work place and being sick, I read an article yesterday about a woman who has MS, but has not disclosed this to her colleagues. I found this very interesting. Her reasoning make sense to me, however any work place that would discriminate against me because of my disability is not a place I imagine I would want to work. It can certainly be difficult to put out there the things that affect us, and may cause us to be 'different' than your 'average' employee, but I think that it is important for the betterment of our society that all types of disabilities be recognized - only in this way can we work towards a society that is inclusive of all. Society often tells us that showing any kind of weakness is bad, and that we should hide our flaws, sometimes at any cost; I think that many times it is our flaws that truly make us who we are, because it is often the weaknesses in things like our health that truly make us stronger individuals in the ways that actually count.

You can ind the article on the Globe and Mail's web site: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/facts-and-arguments/the-essay/why-ive-chosen-to-hide-my-ms-from-co-workers/article2023933/

Once a Week....

I really should start writing about my good days, too! Had a spell again yesterday, which keep me on the schedule I have been living of one a week. I had to miss work this time, as well, which adds to the frustration, especially since I am covering a maternity leave and don’t have sick time benefits right now!

I am feeling frustrated because despite doing everything ‘right’ (meds, sleep, diet), I am still getting sick with almost alarming frequency. With still three months to go before I see my specialist, it’s hard to know what to do. I know that the doctors in my small town won’t be able to offer any suggestions I haven’t already heard, but I am tempted to try anyway. It would be nice just to have a break for a couple of weeks, especially now that the weather is getting nicer! It seems to be that the way the weather affects me, I often end up ‘sick’ on sunny days – that’s just mean!!

I find that my mind races sometimes when I am sick, and I often think of seemingly profound thoughts and ideas while I am laying in bed in discomfort – these ideas seem to either fade away, or are not nearly exciting the next day when I am feeling better. I swear if I could manage to work a key board while I am sick, I’d have a book written by now!! I need some voice to text software I suppose!!

I really would like a break form this – endless nights of spinning and nausea followed by days of exhaustion are not fun. At least time to recover from one spell before I have another would be nice!!