The ABC’s: Altitude, BodyTalk, Christmas

I have had a good, and interesting, couple of weeks. We’ll start with the B – BodyTalk.

B: If you’ve never heard of BodyTalk, check it out. It is an alternative medicine that strives to work in tandem with other treatments, which I like. It’s all about how our mind, body, and emotions are all connected. While things like this can be a little bit ‘out there’ for me, I always go in with an open mind. The session brought up a lot of emotions (A LOT of emotions!!!), and was quite interesting. We actually didn’t touch on my Meniere’s as much as I thought we might – in fact it barely came up at all. We did talk a bit about coping and acceptance techniques for when I am having a spell – while I am allowed to be frustrated when spells to happen, sometimes I just have to listen to my body and accept the fact that for the next [fill in the blank] hours I am going to be sick, dizzy, and exhausted I’ll be okay. Realizing that there is a difference between acceptance and ‘giving in’ is difficult. I always feel the need to fight my symptoms, even ignore them until I cannot possibly anymore – and maybe that isn’t always the best approach. Taking a deep breath and accepting what is happening to my body might help keep some of the anxiety and tension down that I feel when I am in the throes of a spell. Easier said than done!

A: Last week I was lucky enough to travel through the Rocky Mountains with my boyfriend and one of my best friends form back in Ontario. We had a wonderful week seeing friends and loved ones in Jasper, and then heading to Sun Peaks BC. As we were setting out from Sun Peaks towards home (about an 8 hour drive) I began to feel sick – ‘me’ sick. Off, unsteady, dizzy, and just generally crappy. I cannot help but think that the major change in altitude is to blame – the descent form Sun Peaks is quite major, and while it didn’t seem to affect me on the way UP, by the time we got to the bottom of the valley for the drive home I was just about keeled over in the back seat. I bought some Advil at the gas station we stopped at, thinking at least that might help me relax. I felt better for a little while, only for my symptoms to come roaring back a few kms down the road. This is one of those situations that was particularly frustrating, since we were at the outset of an 8 hour drive, and with me sick that only left my BF to drive the whole way – poor guy. After riding in the front seat for a little while, I started to feel a bit better, and was able to take over the wheel for a little while. By the time we got all the way home to Calgary, I was feeling just about back to normal. Altitude? I can’t help but think so.  Being away also meant that I was not working out or doing yoga regularly, which leaves me feeling crummier than usual – looking forward to getting back into routine.

C: I am excited about Christmas this year – as always! There have been years when family holidays have filled me with dread – what if I’m sick? What if I throw up the wonderfully cooked Christmas dinner? What if I can’t travel to see my relatives? And indeed there have been years where I have had to sleep through Easter dinner, or sit propped up in a chair enjoying nothing but Ginger Ale and Gravol on Boxing Day. I like to think that those years are mostly behind me though, and that having being symptom free much of the time now bodes well. Again, should I be sick on Christmas, or during my trip back to Ontario,  I will just have to breathe deep and accept that…. but I am thinking positive thoughts and as always, hoping for symptom free days!!

Results!

Well I have completed my 5 weeks of boot camp (including the make-up session!), and am feeling good. I’m not entirely where I would like to be, but in a short month I took of 6” from my overall measurements, and lost about 7 lbs – I am proud!! I wish that I could afford to been continuing on with Booty Camp, but alas I cannot right now. Hopefully in the new year I will be able to commit to and afford a full 8 week session.

I do feel stronger – certainly in the core, and legs as well. While I have not been eating perfectly, I am eating ‘more aware’, and that certainly makes a difference. I am drinking more water, and eating less ‘junk’. I am looking forward to continuing to use my at home DVD provided, and enjoying my yoga practice. Thanks for giving me the butt-kicking I needed, Booty Camp! It truly was a great environment to work out it – guided by a personable instructor, surrounded by supportive women working towards their goals, and challenging in an ongoing manner.

I am still tired – for me this is the hardest part. I can remember what it was like when I was younger and had much more energy, but I have always been a ‘tired’ person, especially since I started experiencing Meniere’s symptoms. Just the other day I felt so wiped out – I could have gently closed my eyes at my desk and nodded off. This despite the fact that I had gotten 9 hours of sleep the night before, was well fed and started by day with a cup of caffeinated tea. I am fairly certain that I do not have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, as I don’t seem to have many of the other symptoms, or if I do they are things that I attribute to MD (That being said, I did have mono when I was 19 and did not know until 6 months later. I just thought I was really tired. Am I a masochist?). I maintain that it is an effect of my MD that makes me so very tired at times, and I have yet to find anything that helps with this. I take vitamins, eat fairly well and follow all of the ‘rules’ for sleep, including going to bed around the same time every night, sleeping in a dark room etc etc.

For some reason this particular symptom, this agonizing fatigue, is at times more challenging to me than the dizziness, nausea, or tinnitus.  Perhaps that is because it really impairs my ability to feel ‘normal’, to feel like myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. There is no way that these feelings can be normal – I am quite sure that if everyone was walking around feeling this tired and this foggy all of the time, nothing would ever get accomplished in our world. This is not to say that I do not have drive, ambition and even, at times, energy, but that this heavy, weighty fatigue seems to overshadow that a great deal of the time. It can hinder my concentration, and really push the limits of my day. I greatly appreciate when I have good days when I am not particularity tired, or when I am able to push through the heavy eye lids and brain fog. I am working on accepting those days that I am just too tired to be myself – I have to tell myself that I am not failing, slacking or being lazy. I have a medical condition… but even when my brain will accept that, my heart just does not want to sometimes.

Zero Energy Increase

I had to miss my second-to-last boot camp session on Wednesday as I was sick. I wasn’t quite normal person sick, and not quite having a spell – somewhere in the middle! Major headache, loud tinnitus, a bit nauseous, and just generally crummy. I am recovering, but still not feeling great two days later. Sigh.

I was thinking while home feeling unwell, how despite my regular workouts and generally healthy eating, I haven’t been feeling any increase in energy. This is one thing that I long for, and it seems although despite getting lots of sleep, drinking lots of water, eating well and working out, my energy levels just do not increase. This may be due to my low blood pressure level, but when I do have it measured, it is never so far below normal as to cause concern. I have at various times lowered the dose of my diuretic in the hopes that it would affect my blood pressure less, leading to higher level of energy, but it did not make a difference in my energy levels.

The other factor that makes us Meniere’s folks tired it the extra effort required to keep us steady and focused all day. Spells knock us out, and personally I can (and have!) slept for up to 18 hours at a time when I have or am recovering from a spell. I have read that this is because our brains have to work so much harder to keep us going when we’re sick – even if it’s just getting up to stumble to the bathroom to throw-up, we have to work really hard just to make it there! It makes sense to me that this happens on a day-to-day basis as well – the seemingly small bit of effort that it takes to ignore the tinnitus, re-celebrate if I’m feeling dizzy, keep my eyes focused if I’m feeling dizzy (extra challenging when you already wear glasses with a -8.5 prescription!), fight the brain fog and basically act ‘normal’ even if I’m not feeling normal, is sure to add up over the course of a day. I’m tired just thinking about it!

I will continue my search for a good energy solution. I am going for a ‘BodyTalk’ session in the next couple of weeks, and while I approach most alternative medicine with what I believe to be a healthy dose of skepticism, I look forward to new possibilities for treatment and management of my condition, as well as anything that can help make my life better, even in a small way. For today, that will be a glass of wine after work, and maybe some pizza for dinner! Aka – being thankful for the small things!