Today is #BellLetsTalk day - a day to raise awareness of, and fund for mental health concerns.
As individuals, and as a society, we often have a difficult time addressing health concerns that are not visible. We think that if we cannot see something, it isn't there. This plays an especially big role in the field of mental illness, where things can easily be overlooked or mislabelled.
Those of us walking around with chronic conditions and disabilities that are 'invisible' can be especially susceptible to the mental illnesses that come along with them. I am thinking especially of depression and anxiety.
Even when I am well, I go through periods of anxiety when I can't help but wonder no if, but when I will get sick again. Will it be tomorrow? Will it be next week when I have plans with a friend? Is it right now?! It can be easy to work myself up wondering. I also go through periods of minor depression when I am not feeling well. Sometimes things can seem quite bleak, and I wonder when I will feel okay again. I feel sorry for myself. I long to feel well and can even get jealous of people that don't have to worry about whether they'll be dizzy or not tomorrow.
I am much more susceptible to this when I have a couple days in a row of feeling 'off' - and today happens to be one of those days. It is day two of feeling off kilter, and for the last few months I have been off kilter a lot. It takes away from the joy I feel in life, and leaves me nervous about making plans. I have written about these things before, but as mental health is top of mind today, I felt motivated to say them again.
Mental health is inexplicably linked to physical health, which can easily create a downward spiral. I physically feel poorly, which makes me sad and anxious and less than joyful mentally, which may just make me feel worse physically. I obviously have not found a great way out of this spiral, but working to maintain perspective certainly helps. I can work full time. I am physically active. I volunteer regularly. I have lots of great relationships. And yet, all of those things can feel blurry and far away when I am sick.
I must fight to keep perspective, and to keep those things top of mind. Not every day will be a good day, but I cannot allow myself to let the bad days define me.
