UHG Day

Yesterday was a write-off for me - I slept in, but woke up feeling 'off', and though I just rested (and watched Heroes!) all day, I just felt worse and worse until I was fully sick and making trips to the bathroom by 6 pm. Very frustrating, as I was hoping to enjoy a day off with my BF, but alas I was on the couch all day, feeling terrible (I did get to spend the day with Cole watching Heroes though; he is wonderful to me, when I am well or sick!). It was a funny day, because I wasn't dizzy per say, but my head just felt very heavy, and my stomach was bloated and off as usual. Do any of you out there with MD get days like that, too? I took my serc and trizide when I woke up in the morning, but they didn't seem to help, obviously. Funny how last week I had a SUPER dizzy spell that didn't last too long, and then this week had one where I wasn't very dizzy, but it lasted for 12+ hour. I'm not sure which is worse!!

I'm looking forward to enjoying the rest of my week - have a few things planned, including a date night with Cole - so fingers crossed for a healthy rest of the week!

Nagging Thoughts

Well, I got away with almost 2 weeks spell free… but alas not. I woke up in the middle of the night on Sunday, and didn’t even realize anything was wrong at first… I stood up to go to the washroom, and almost fell flat on my face! I haven’t been that spinny in quite a while, so it was a little unnerving. My discomfort increased, and the steadiness of my stomach decreased… I was awake for about 2 hours or so, very, VERY uncomfortable and back and forth to the washroom the whole time – actually considered just bringing my pillow to the washroom, seemed like less work to just stay there (wouldn’t have been the first timeJ ) ! Luckily I have Mondays off, so I slept and slept until about 2 pm on Monday, and felt okay upon awakening. Yay! It was the most ‘violent’ spell I’ve had in quite a while, but at least it didn’t last long.

I am greatly anticipating a trip that I am taking home to Ontario in August – only 74 days away! I will be home for a good friend’s wedding, and will be bringing my wonderful boyfriend with me to meet the family (and friends!) there for the first time. I have lots of great plans made… but that little voice in the back of my head keep popping up when I get to excited, and brings up those nagging thoughts... ‘Hm, what if you get sick? What if you get sick the day of the wedding? Or if you can’t go for dinner to that favourite restaurant? What if you’re spinning and can’t drive to the airport to pick Cole up?’ I hate these thoughts, because as much as I know to ignore them and not focus on the negative… easier said then done. It COULD happen! It is these same thoughts that come up when I think about how fabulous it would be to take a year off life and go explore the world, or pursue my ultimate dream of travel writing…   

I know that there are much worse things that many people face that make it challenging to do things and follow dreams that they may have… I am lucky to only have to deal with this, as frustrating as it is. When it come to specifics, like the Ontario trip, I just have to keep reminding myself that no matter what it’s going to be a great little trip, and if I get sick, well I’ll get sick and deal with it when it comes. Ultimately I hope that I’ll be feeling at least a little steadier by then, but who knows. Stay tuned!

What a Day

Well, today work has been crazy, I finally (?) signed up for Twitter, and the sun is shining.

It also marks a week and a day since my last spell... BUT, I am trying not to think about it!

I appreciate the reaction to my blog so much - it is awesome to put something out there, and get a lot of interesting, compassionate and helpful feedback. Thanks to everyone who has commented and/or e-mailed me.

Ironically, I actually was more social than usual this weekend, going on a rafting 'booze cruise' on Friday, a wonderful sushi dinner and then drinks on Saturday, and then a great girls night on Sunday. I figured I would be out with a spell since I messed with my sleeping patterns, but seem to be having a good health week, regardless!! Who knows, maybe it's just my new med regime finally kicking in, or maybe my body DOES like to mix it up once in a while!

My poor boss has been away sick for two weeks with dizziness - I feel terrible for her, as she is having a difficult time of getting back on track. At least she will have increased empathy when I am sick! Speaking of the work place and being sick, I read an article yesterday about a woman who has MS, but has not disclosed this to her colleagues. I found this very interesting. Her reasoning make sense to me, however any work place that would discriminate against me because of my disability is not a place I imagine I would want to work. It can certainly be difficult to put out there the things that affect us, and may cause us to be 'different' than your 'average' employee, but I think that it is important for the betterment of our society that all types of disabilities be recognized - only in this way can we work towards a society that is inclusive of all. Society often tells us that showing any kind of weakness is bad, and that we should hide our flaws, sometimes at any cost; I think that many times it is our flaws that truly make us who we are, because it is often the weaknesses in things like our health that truly make us stronger individuals in the ways that actually count.

You can ind the article on the Globe and Mail's web site: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/facts-and-arguments/the-essay/why-ive-chosen-to-hide-my-ms-from-co-workers/article2023933/

Once a Week....

I really should start writing about my good days, too! Had a spell again yesterday, which keep me on the schedule I have been living of one a week. I had to miss work this time, as well, which adds to the frustration, especially since I am covering a maternity leave and don’t have sick time benefits right now!

I am feeling frustrated because despite doing everything ‘right’ (meds, sleep, diet), I am still getting sick with almost alarming frequency. With still three months to go before I see my specialist, it’s hard to know what to do. I know that the doctors in my small town won’t be able to offer any suggestions I haven’t already heard, but I am tempted to try anyway. It would be nice just to have a break for a couple of weeks, especially now that the weather is getting nicer! It seems to be that the way the weather affects me, I often end up ‘sick’ on sunny days – that’s just mean!!

I find that my mind races sometimes when I am sick, and I often think of seemingly profound thoughts and ideas while I am laying in bed in discomfort – these ideas seem to either fade away, or are not nearly exciting the next day when I am feeling better. I swear if I could manage to work a key board while I am sick, I’d have a book written by now!! I need some voice to text software I suppose!!

I really would like a break form this – endless nights of spinning and nausea followed by days of exhaustion are not fun. At least time to recover from one spell before I have another would be nice!!